A note to Straight Guys

Primal parties are for queer and trans folks and their friends. Our attendees range from gay through bi, with all shades of transgendered, and intersexed folk, and a few heterosexuals (mainly as couples). It doesn't even vaguely resemble most straight guys' fantasy of a sex party.

This isn't an orgy or a show.

Despite the porn fantasy, bi women are rarely interested in straight guys. For many reasons, they're more likely to choose bi or gay guys.

The few straight women who attend are pretty picky, and usually bring their own date. If you have any trouble getting a date in the outside world, you'll have more trouble in here. This is not an opportunity for "free women".

Questionnaire

1. A guy suggests he's interested in you. You're more likely to:
   a) say "I'm flattered, but I'm hopelessly heterosexual." b) get offended. c) get violent.

2. You see three transgender people having sex together. You're more likely to:
   a) be glad that the party feels safe to them. b) go and stare. c) be disgusted.

3. You see two women having sex together. You're more likely to:
   a) give them some space. b) get close and jerk off. c) offer them some hot cock.

4. You think Playboy and Hustler are:
   a) rather formulaic. b) pretty hot. c) required viewing.

5. You go to a sex club more:
   a) to relax with like-minded people. b) to see some tits. c) to cop a feel.

6. To prepare to visit a sex club, you're more likely to:
   a) bathe and dress well, and get a date. b) get drunk. c) get high.

7. Primal requires you to change out of your street clothes. Your reaction is:
   a) to decide whether to be naked, in a towel, or in fetishwear. b) to think that only the girls should have to get naked. c) to think "no problem, I was going to be wanking anyway".

8. You notice that the women in the club come in all body types, ages, and attitudes. Few, if any, look like the hot bi babes in porn. Your reaction is:
   a) to be delighted at the variety. b) to gripe that there aren't any hot bi babes for you. c) to follow around any cute young things.

9. A lot of trans and intersex folks attend Primal. How do you tell boys from girls?
   a) Ask them. Everyone gets to define their own gender. b) I can always tell, just by looking. c) It's all about the genitals - in or out.

10. You're one of several people watching an exhibitionistic couple. The guy next to you edges closer. You're more likely to:
    a) worry that he'll disrupt the scene. b) tell him to not block your view. c) edge in closer too.

11. A couple is being intimate, and they point to two nearby people, beckoning them in. You:
    a) give them room. b) resent not being invited. c) assume you're invited too.

12. At the party, you're thinking about doing something, but you're not sure if it's allowed. You:
    a) ask a member of staff. b) go ahead, until someone stops you. c) find a dark corner to do it in.

13. You've been talking with a woman, and she seems interested in you. You:
    a) ask "Shall we find a place to cuddle?" b) ask "Wanna fuck?" c) grab her.

14. You're making out with a woman, and she tells you she used to be male. You:
    a) thank her for telling you. b) say "Sorry, I don't do guys." c) think "Ooh, a chick with a dick. I haven't had one of those yet."

15. Walking around the party alone, staring at body parts, and jerking off:
    a) would feel isolating. b) is fun. c) is necessary cause the bitches won't put out.

16. The phrase "a queer heterosexual":
    a) is probably intended as a compliment. b) makes no sense. c) is fighting words.

17. What do women want?:
    a) Depends on the woman and the circumstance. b) I don't know; they're too complicated. c) My cock.

18. I find women most attractive when they:
    a) are interested in me and make a good connection. b) are young and cute. c) have big tits.

19. To get more dates I:
    a) make myself more date-able. b) look for ways to get them to say yes. c) hit on lots of women, until one accepts.

20. If there's a party I think I want to attend, but I wasn't invited, I:
    a) find something else to do that night. b) look for a way to sneak in. c) pester people hoping someone invites me.

21. Why aren't there more public sex parties for straight people?
    a) A few guys misbehave (often without knowing it), drive off the women, and make everyone uncomfortable. b) Most women are selfish. c) Most women don't like sex.

22. I meet a woman on-line, and she asks for a picture. I send her:
    a) my face. b) my cock. c) a porn star's cock.

In our experience, every time a staight guy comes alone to Primal, he has a miserable time. If he comes with someone who is already his lover, then he usually has a good time.

Resources

For some basic tips on how to behave well at sex/play parties, see: freaksexual.wordpress.com/2007/02/19/how-to-negotiate-play-parties-for-men

Alternatives

• If you like hot, young bodies on display, you'll love places like The Gold Club.
• If you like anonymously watching where wanking is permitted, you'll love the Power Exchange sex club. Their rules are much more permissive, and they attract a lot more straight people. Their SF branch is on hiatus (Dec 08), looking for a new location. Their Las Vegas branch is active.
• Join the free list groups.yahoo.com/group/sfpowerexchange, which has hundreds of sex party attendees, and announces many types of local sex parties, including admirer parties. You can just monitor the announcements, or post saying what you're looking for.
• If you're looking for an orgy, try one of the many swingers clubs.
• If you're looking for cute tits, try domai.com